Describe the meaning and importance of self control.

  Self-control, as the term indicates, refers to be in control of oneself. This means, mainly to be able to control one’s emotions in the moment. It is being aware of one’s emotions and putting a check on them so that one does not burst out as a result of one’s emotions, but is able to assess the situation and others around, and then decide the course of action. Thus emotional self-control helps in restraining oneself and reducing impulsivity. Stein and Book (2006, p.204) have defined emotional self-control as “a capacity for identifying one’s angry and aggressive impulses, being composed and putting the brakes on angry, aggressive, hostile and irresponsible behavior.”

Thus, self-control enables us to be composed, understand our emotions and not act on an impulse. Self-control is required not only in situations of anger or aggression, but also in situations exhibiting intense joy, pleasure or excitement also. In the latter case also, we sometimes get so excited that our language and actions may affect others negatively, e.g., blurting out some insensible remarks about somebody. Thus, in both the scenarios whether we are experiencing positive or negative emotions, exercising self-control is very important. In Indian scriptures we have the term ‘Sthitapragyan’ that means one is calm and composed both in happy and sad times, thus referring to self-control. In ancient Indian Mythology, we have examples of sages also like Maharishi Durbasha who was known for his extreme instant anger because of which he himself also has faced troubles many times.

Mersino (2007, p.52) defines self-control as “the ability to control our emotions so that they do not control us. It includes techniques that help us to regulate our emotions, to identify and prevent emotional triggers, and to identify and prevent thinking that can lead to emotional breakdowns.” Thus, emotional self-control is the ability to control or regulate our emotions to achieve desirable outcomes. It is an ability which uses understanding about one’s emotions to deal with situations in a better way. When we are in the grip of emotions, we cannot think clearly. Using technique of self-control, we can pause, understand our emotions and its impact; and then accordingly think clearly and take actions. Learning to control oneself helps us to face any kind of situation without getting disturbed or distressed. Like water on the lotus petal does not stay, similarly, one stays composed and does not get affected by emotions.

Another definition by Mangal and Mangal (2015) states, “emotional selfcontrol is an ability or skill belonging to the intra-personal management of one’s EI that helps him to exercise desirable control over his emotions and provide a shield against the evil consequences of impulsive actions, emotional storms and breakdowns for enabling him to get along well with his self and others and attain desired success in his life.”

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