Describe the strategies to develop assertiveness.

  Assertiveness is an emotional competency that can be developed so as to successfully manage one’s emotions and have a positive impact on others for success in life. Here one is able to express one’s own thoughts, opinions, feelings and wishes honestly without any fear, hesitation or aggression because one is considerate of the rights of the other person also. This crucial ability can be developed through different ways:

1. Being aware of one’s emotions is the first thing in the process of developing assertiveness. In the example of Nita given earlier, she needed to be aware about what emotions and feelings she was feeling and what she wanted for her. If I don’t know what are my feelings and wishes, then what would I stand up for?

2. Being aware of other’s emotions is the next step that is required on the way to be assertive. One cannot grow or achieve happiness by ignoring, humiliating or putting down others. One needs to give equal respect to the needs and desires of others also. This will help people to accept your stand without getting antagonized or showing resentment. Thus assertiveness involves striking a balance between the needs of self and others.

3. Taking care/focusing on the C’s of assertiveness. Be clear about what do you want, say it confidently and maintain a controlled manner throughout. Thus one needs to know what one aims at in a given situation. Further, one needs to observe one’s verbal as well as nonverbal language to be aware of what one is communicating to others. In order to be acceptable to others, one also needs to practice saying things in a confident and calm manner without getting emotional or agitated. Exercising control over one’s emotions will also help one to think clearly leading to constructive steps.

4. Practice your assertive dialogue. Assertiveness is a way of communication that may not develop overnight. So one needs to practice how to say assertively without hurting others.

5. Being mindful. One needs to be mindful of one’s emotions, feelings and behaviours. This will help in knowing what exactly one wants and how to express the things before others.

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